![]() To him Ryder is just a cool dude with some cute puppies, not a dangerous supervillain in the making. My kid loves everything that drives me to despair about Paw Patrol. Oh, and Ryder is also working on a robotic dog, which sets up an eventual episode where the Paw Patrol, steamrollered by technology, find themselves saddled with such a profound lack of purpose that they all become grizzled alcoholics. Every episode – with the possible exception of the one where all the puppies turn into mermaids – is exactly the same. The puppies will work together to fix the boat, then they’ll be rewarded with a treat while Ryder presumably keeps the bulk of the financial reward himself. This will always include Chase, the bum-licking, sycophantic self-appointed leader of the group and very rarely include Zuma (the puppy with a boat) because Ryder has got a jet-ski of his own and wants all the credit for himself. Then he’ll call upon some of the puppies to help him. Ryder will summon the five puppies to his tower to show them a lengthy PowerPoint presentation on the nature of the emergency – even though, all the while, the boat is still sinking. The mayor, a woman who routinely ignores her civic duties to chase her pet chicken around, will inadvertently cause an emergency. Here’s what happens in an average episode. Twenty years from now when a grownup fan makes a knowing Paw Patrol revival movie, Ryder will be depicted as a cackling maniac with an unstoppable God complex, but for now all this is implied. These puppies can talk, and they call him Sir. ![]() Ryder – who lives in a glass tower high above the civilised world – has coerced a team of five puppies into providing the sole emergency services for his city. ![]() If you’ve never seen Paw Patrol, it’s essentially about Ryder, a boy whose parents didn’t tell him no enough, and the megalomaniacal world he’s created for himself. But a line was crossed while my back was turned, and now my kid has bought into Paw Patrol wholesale.
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